Chapter 4

3/15/2012

I am just gonna have to see a sleep doctor. It makes no sense to Dr. McEwen unless I am taking crystal meth. And, I may just do that. Heaven knows this book will be done in a jiffy if I do. I want to try Nuvigul.

What is the worst is the thought that in order to try Dexedrine as a replacement therapy for crystal meth which is what Dr. McEwen does I have to be on crystal meth. And, I am going to be soon enough if somebody doesn't cave in here and send me to a sleep doctor to treat my symptoms instead. The basis by which this doctor is operating is illegality.

That is why Stephen Harper the prime minister of Canada does not agree with this operation and the idea of subsitution therapies for addicts. It takes money and time away from legitimate therapies and diagnosis of legitimate symptoms that require classified substances.

Never mind treating my symptoms as delusional and offering me dexedrine so long as I take crystal meth. This is grossly illegal. How about refering me to a sleep doctor for a proper diagnosis and proper medication in a properly functioning democratic society.

What I have is called a hidden disorder. I just talked to my drug counsellor about my triggers and he, again, addamantly denies that I have the symptoms of narcolepsy. He calls my symptomology drug seeking behaviour. It may be that. But, the underlying diagnosis of of my drug seeking behaviour can not be addiction based on my symptoms. It must be narcolepsy.

It's just this type of ignorance of the medical condition of narcolepsy, my subsequent non diagnosis and proper treatment that does in fact drive me to drink so to speak. But, to call my drug addiction counsellor ignorant is unfair and rude. Phil, in particular is very profesional and he knows a great deal about addiction. What I mean by ignorant is he is neither a sufferer of narcolepsy nor a doctor of sleep medicine. Whereas I am at least one of the above.

What drives me to drink the most and by that I mean to seek out alternative and illegal therapies to narcolepsy and it's symptom of excessive daytime sleepiness is the inability to talk about it. It is the hopelessness of dealing with a city of unqualified people in a round about circle that has demonstrated itself as an addiction to crystal meth. That is why I need to see a sleep doctor. If not for the medications then for the peace of mind it gives me to talk about my health to a qualified professional.

I am so tired everyday I can hardly bathe myself let alone cook and clean and work and find friends and so on. I wonder how this book is gonna get done. Maybe I should wait till I get into the housing my drug and alcohol counsellor is getting me to start taking little amounts of crystal meth again because I will have more money then.

Currently I am staying in the Onsite drug detox and temporary housing facility. Here I am provided with all my meals, counselling and shelter. It is a decent place for me except that they take all but ninety five dollars of my disablity allowance. I hardly have any money for drugs after I pay for my mobile internet connection and phone. Plus, the expense of cigarettes. But, they allot me 5 cigarettes a day here to stay indoors and of course I have a hard time justifying them as a legitimate concern. I am such a hard boiled, stone cold conservative my morals and my judgements will not allow to weep over the cost of cigarettes while I am so adequately cared for at Onsite. And, they give me five smokes anyways.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in charity, of course, and helping the needy. My only concern is for the taxpayers whose money I use to stay in a shelter like this. I wish it was from the church and donation or tithing only. But, like Jesus in the Christ before me said "Be in the now and render onto Ceaser what ios Ceasers". So, if Ceaser in this case the Queen of England, at this time of writing, has seen it upon herself to support me with charity for my disability then so be it. It is her's then my care. And, God Bless the Queen of England for her kindness and charity.

That is how I see it anyways as a conservative. And, since it is the Queens personal exchequer in Canada who rubber stamps all of my disablity payments I recieve them not from the federal government but from her kindness, her her heart and her soul. And, again God bless her. Though I am not a Canadian citizen, I am only a permanent resident, and so long as my two countries interests do not collide, I am American, I stand on guard for thee mam for all your kindness and for your family and succesor.

I have not been able to maintain a residence and an income all these years without your personal help mam. And, to myself, my other half in Heaven, the father to whom I am His angel I will put in a huge good word for you and yours. I have done the research and the Queen of England has to her credit more needy people on some form of disability allowance from her own personal exchequers accounts than any other person in the world. God bless the Queen of England, what a wonderful, kind, God fearing and thoughtful woman.

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I just came back from Talking Circle a program put on the aboriginal peoples here in Vancouver for the benifit of the recovering addict. It was great. I got a chance to exclaim my desire to write a book aimed at the American conservative to whom all these issues I put forth here in this book they hold so dearly close to their heart. And, it's funny but it is the aboriginal peoples of Canada who know all too well the meaning of the words from the American Declaration of Indenpendence what it is to have ones peoples substance eaten away by the British colonial system. And, in my case the here in British Columbia Canada the British Colonial system of doctors. I can see in their eyes the empathy towards my plight as an American Immigrant in Canada.

I call this place the asshole of pyschiatry around the world. I am expected to suffer in silence and not criticize the ways of the governement lest I be branded delusional and psychotic. Some, second opinion I recieve here when one doctor will not contradict the next lest they be sued. The entire basis of the effective costs of socialized or single payer medicine rests upon a lack of civil litigation to drive up the costs in the case of bad doctoring. It is a horrible system where good doctors leave and bad doctors practice in an absence of common law.

Not to mention the entire illegality of the down town easty side of Vancouver, BC where misdiagnosis, no diagnosis and malpratice are aqs common among patients as are their legitimate concerns being unmet. I should take you here on day to see the sewer one of the so called greatest places to live in the world that is not Vancouver tries so desperately to legitimize as some grand experiment in rife drug addiction, crime and lawlessness.

I wish someone would come here and arrest this cities doctors who are involved in so called substition therapy for addiction. These people if they shoukld require sheduled substances as therapy are in need then of a proper medical diagnosis for their underlying condition which drives them to self medicate. Anything less is malpratice. This cities counsellors need to be arrested and charged with running one of the worlds most notorious open air and illegal drug markets. Not lauded for their civil failures. This is a disgrace for the whole world to see. But, it is especially the American conservative in need of of an argument against so called "liberal" intervention in health care looks like in the end. It is a sewer of poverty pimping agencies trying to bandage wounds in a society their kind of liberal governance creates, slum lords running boudoir parlors without law, bad doctors performing wild experiments on poeple and the people themselves, in need of common and civil law, going without. It is not justice for the peace.

Please come here American Republican and please see this place and document and note it for our future survival as a nation under God. This is not the way. This is the path to hell and one only need come here and see it for themselves. Hell is but a sliver of an inch away from this poor impoverished and in laymans terms civil social structure of a liberal governments making. The prophecy of people walking around with open festering boils on their faces in the face of Christ has come. I am here. And, so are they. They severly wounded by the very false, stubborn and too proud government of Vancouver, BC. This is a disaster in city governance. This is an Anti-Christ.

Please come here stubborn American who will not walk down the path of good intentions with the liberals to hell. Please come and be witness to this atrocity and never allow this to happen in America.

We have slums, we have ghettoes, we have poverty, we have mistakes but we have never allowed the rampant lawlessness of the downtown east side of Vancouver, the devil, to roam free like this America. Compared to Vancouver the Skid Road area of Los Angeles looks a like a little slice of Heaven and Paradise just waiting to come together and be restored. I mean it. I've been there. It's true. God Bless America for keeping the law above itself and doing it right by law or not doing it all.

This city has dragged this country so far under it, the lawlessness of it, that the authorities are now the accused and because of it their shall be no justice under Canada's criminal code. It's the doom of this country. As if I were an angel in Rome spelling out the fate of the empire so I am that angel in Canada. I am God's wrath. I am His Angel. So says the bible of the one who is to discover the power of the Ark of the Covenant and deliver it to Jerusalem as I have done. I will be God in Christ by the Host, His Spirit.

To the vast majority of the faithless people in Vancouver it is to hell that you will be damned and it is your country and nation that you will take with you. To the faithful you shall recieve your judgments as agreed. For, I am the only one who can take your judgement away from you and damn you forthright. As I have done to this Godless abomination, Vancouver, to it's country and to it's generations.

By your fruit I shall know thee and this fruit baby is rotten to the core. While I am a man it is my tongue that you will deal with. While I am an angel it is my sword.