No, I meant the day I figured out what is wrong with me, lol. But, it could be taken either way in my eyes. I have narcolepsy. It is a rare sleep disorder that causes one to essentially never sleep properly. And, you can't imagine the difficulties the symptoms of this condition presented in my life that made my life completely unmanageable and utterly by my own emotional reckoning of it, devastated. Just completely and utterly devastated in the eyes of the poor little boy who had to grow up with this condition, unknown to him and unknown to the other people around him in his shattered little world of inconsistency and abysmal failures in every sense of what is normally expected of a bright little boy otherwise. I felt sorry for Jesus as I had to watch him cry in the absolutely still darkness of the second coming of his life. The devil had a duty to uphold the prophecy of his dark world but he did not have to be cruel. And, he was cruel. Phillip Billy was cruel.
God had also a duty to come to this world and experience all the pain within it. But, who knew that it would be so hard for this little guy, this little super trooper of ours, as he tried to comprehend what the only the darkness and I as God up above in a circle of angels knew. His emotional pain and suffering was absolutely necessary and only accomplished if he was suspended in the darkness without a light to realize why his surreal pain was not normal. And, he almost broke through the darkness to the light. Several times in his life he would proclaim to know that he was Jesus only to be ridiculed. It was a very sad but nonetheless a very necessary event in the fruition of God's very serious plan for all of humanity. Narcolepsy was the only way to keep our god man animated enough to live his life yet still remain at bay.
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