I just remembered something I can use to counter the extrodinary claims that my symptoms of a sleep disorder are delusional. When I went for my first lab exams Dr. Fleming refused to consider my symptoms of narcolepsy claiming I had cheated on my lab exams but he did in fact claim I had sleep aspnea. So there you fuck wads. it's a sleep disorder and that is on paper by one of your own doctors.
What puzzles me is how is this so called expert in medicine Dr. McEwen going to diagnos me with anything when he will not give me a referal to another sleep doctor nor will pull my charts from other doctors. In all of ten or fifteen minutes he decides I am delusional and prescribes me an anti-phsychotic which in my estimation has done nothing but angered me and caused me to not be able to stop thinking about my sleep disorder. The exact opposite of what he suggested it might do for me.
I will have to tell him this. Not that I think it will help. I think the man himself is suffering a delusion. Considering what I just remembered about Dr. Flemings diagnosis of sleep apnea and not narcolepsy I do indeed have a diagnosis of a sleep disorder. This McEwen is nuts.
Come to think of it my argument with Dr. Fleming was not over whether I had a sleep disorder it was over what type of sleep disorder I have. And, it seems to me that no amount of Dexedrine nor Alertec or Ritalin will ever be able to help completely over come my narcoleptic stupor or else one would Imagine I might remember these types of things whenever I talk to a doctor.
But, of course I forgot tell Dr. McEwen that I have a diagnosis of sleep apnea already. Maybe it is concurrent with narcolepsy but given my strange symptoms, I will list them all later there is no doubt, as there was no doubt in the minds of the doctors at Cedar Sinai who did in fact pull my medical charts from Canada, that I do indeed have narcolepsy. My symptoms coupled with a sleep diagnostic indicative of a major sleep disorder leave no room for doubt that I must have some form of narcolepsy. But, Dr. Fleming would not believe me. That is why I stormed out of his after having a lifetime of troubles because of my symtpoms and declared one way or another I would sue him.
And, I did sue him on my own terms in the public court of opinion which is another story to which I will devote another chapter soon.
What a major epiphany. I just talked with my counsellor Emmet from Onsite. I have to discern what is an addiction to crystal meth and what is a legitimate health concern for my sleep.
On the one hand I am angry about my misdiagnosises but on the other my anger is manifesting itself as ways to justify the use of crystal meth. I am still feeling like if I just use meth as a substance to treat my narcolepsy and excessive daytime sleepiness it is justifiable because I am not receiving the type of drug therapy that I need to do this lawfully from the doctor.
I have a feeling that I may be jeopardizing my health and sabotaging my meetings with doctors in order to justify my use of meth. Of course that still does leave me with a substantial problem. What to do about my excessive daytime sleepiness. But, the two can not become one.
That is in fact why I am here at Onsite and planning to go to a recovery house and further treatment for addiction. I in fact have very little hope that I will ever get to see a doctor in Canada for some of the reasons I have outlined who will prroperly diagnose me for my symptoms of narcolepsy but I still do not want to take crystal meth.
So, all this talk of talking meth to doctor my symptoms of narcolepsy is in fact the symptoms of addiction given the fact I was resigned not the take meth even without a proper diagnosis nor treatment with amphetamines.
It is the lifestyle of an addict that I want to avoid. But, it is the benefit of amphetamines that I need to live a whole, complete and substantial life. I have no faith whatsoever in the Canadian medical health care system. I do not believe I will ever get what I need to be well here. But, I was resigned to that sad belief before I came in here to get off from crystal meth and that is what I am focused on.
And, I have you dear Christian American right wing reader who is opposed to this kind of medical system. I always have you to help me see my way through this mess while I wait till I earn myself some money so I can come home again to be with you in the land of opportunity of justice. America, where we don't accept second best as one nation under God. May Jesus who is our King in Heaven find me in your company soon.
My plan is to find myself safe and secure housing with support to be able to continue to write my book to you and do the kind of work I can do on the internet from my bed till I have the money I need to come again so that I may see Dr. Brodski in California who treats me for my symptoms with Ritalin.
Before I went broke in California and faced homelessness, under Dr. Brodski's care and using Ritalin I was able to hold a job registering Republican voters for the mid-term elections that while I only worked for only three months every week day including Saturdays, allowed me to earn enough money to stay in California for eleven whole months. After that the toll of the recession took my ability away from me to find another job and I had to leave California to live once again on my pension in Canada.
I have never succesfully worked for the same company for three months in a row in my whole life. And, it was only because the elections took place that I lost my job. I was never fired nor did I quit. That has never happened to me before and that only happened to me under Dr. Brodskis's care while taking a stronger stimulant than Alertec.
It is such a slap in the face to meet a doctor that calls me delusional when I tell him I have symptoms of narcolepsy. And, his refusal to allow me to see a sleep specialist is the type of criminal mal-practice is of the kind which I speak of that is rife in this country with it's inaqequate mental health care system.
It is one thing for a patient to forget an important detail contained in his medical records it is completely another for a doctor to refuse to request his patients files before he attempts to diagnose someone with something as important as a delusional physchosis.
So far because of this one of my regular doctors, Dr. Marr has been reluctant to refer to sleep specialist as well. Hopefully next week when I see Dr. McEwen again I have this misdiagnosis straightened out. But, I doubt it.
At the very least I have to ask Dr. McEwen to allow my regular pychsican to allow me to see a sleep specialist. But, I swear because this country is the Anti-Christ such an extremely simple request will not be met for me, I am the Christ.
Inwardly I am just laughing at what some people, maybe even you reader, might be thinking; that I must be delusional regardless of my sleep symptoms if I call myself the messiah and the spirit of God in the flesh. But, then again dear reader I remind you of the prophecy of the Ark of the Covenant and what it means to be the one who is to reveal it to you. I can be none other than the second coming of Christ.
That there is something wrong here is easy to see. That I need a second opinion is evident. But, that I will receive an honest one will not come. In Canada one doctor will not contradict another lest they open a floodgate of lawsuits against them.
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